so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
