Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
