I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize