Whod you bang
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
