before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
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Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize