ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
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it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
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YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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