is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
