i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
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