Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
