I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize