I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize