when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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