How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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