Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
