I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
