sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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