Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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