I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
