it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
