I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
