I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
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Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
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