forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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