i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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