So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
