Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
