Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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