I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
