Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
