shes about as inviting as chlamydia
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize