Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
