I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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