Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
