It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
