i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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