Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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