His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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