Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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