your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
