i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
