to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
