I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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