your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
