Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
