sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess