Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder