There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
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He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
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Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys