watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.