just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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