If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
