shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
