Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
