i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
