I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize