Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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