Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
i now understand why vodka
Damn victory sex feels great
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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