remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I am one with the molecules
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize