if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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