K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
