Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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