dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
