So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida