last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.