She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
