my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
