why didn't you poke me back
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize