hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just google imaged poop.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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