I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
